The John Report: Talking Smack 05/28/10 (Undertaker/Rey)

I missed doing a recap of last week’s show due to being busy and this one’s going up late. It’s a lot harder to get these done on the weekends when the weather is nice because frankly I’m on the computer all day Monday-Friday at work and when I’m home on the weekend I’d rather not sit around looking at a screen. Anyway, this week’s recap is going to be very short. I’m sorry for that. I’ll try to get back to my usual quality next week although I can’t make any promises.

Taped from Cleveland, Ohio let’s talk some smackā€¦

Opening segment saw Teddy Long talk about Fatal Fourway, Drew McIntyre came out for his weekly complaining and we found out that Matt Hardy was suspended. He tried to go after Drew, but Teddy told him to leave or else he’d get fired. Drew was suspended for all of one week. People on the internet thought it was legit. Matt’s suspended. Nobody gives a shit. Seems about right.

Big Show & Kofi Kingston d. Drew McIntyre & Jack Swagger (**1/2)
Decent tag match that got 13 minutes. The heels worked over Kofi for much of it, Big Show tagged in and got the win. You see that KNOCK THE FUCK OUT~! punch by Big Show on McIntyre to end this match? It also ended Drew’s push. Apparently he’s in the doghouse. Have fun getting out.

Backstage Punk with his back to us and his head covered with a towel said we’d all see the new face of CM Punk a little later.

Backstage Vickie flirted with Dolph Ziggler. I guess they’re going to be a couple? Thrilling.

CM Punk revealed his new look slowly. It’s a black mask that says Straight Edge Society on it.

CM Punk d. Kane to qualify for Fatal Fourway (*1/2)
This one got almost 15 minutes, but it was very boring. It just didn’t work for me. It’s a Kane match, though, so what do you expect. Yes, I know people out there like Kane and they give me shit when I rip him. It’s just that his style doesn’t lead to anything exciting in the ring especially when given time. After interference from the SES, Punk finished him up with a GTS that didn’t look too great. It’s understandable considering the size of Kane, though. I don’t see Punk winning at Fatal Fourway, but he’ll help the quality of the match for sure.

Christian & Hornswoggle d. Dolph Ziggler & Chavo (*)
I don’t understand this company’s thinking. Apparently Christian is being “punished” or something to that effect. They are punishing Christian by sticking him in a match with freaking Hornswoggle even though he cut a great promo with Edge and had a great match with Edge recently, not to mention with Kofi Kingston and Cody Rhodes. Why does Vince refuse to acknowledge Christian’s talents? It’s lame. Anyway, Christian got the pin on Chavo, who hasn’t won a match in years it seems. And I really never need to see the Chavowoggle feud again. Thanks. Post match, Ziggler put Christian to sleep while Vickie smiled at him.

Drew vs. Kofi for the IC title next week. I’d expect Kofi to keep it.

Team Laycool did a promo about being co-champions. That’s like saying you got the highest mark on a test when there are four kids in the class.

Luke Gallows d. MVP (*)
This was just a TV match that went about four minutes with Gallows winning. Nothing else to it. I like Gallows as a worker. MVP’s got no direction just like when he was on Raw.

The Undertaker d. Rey Mysterio to qualify for Fatal Fourway (**1/2)
Decent match although their one at the Rumble was better. This was about ten minutes. I don’t know who told Matt Striker to say that the Undertaker looked like he was in the best shape of his career, but I thought that was a preposterous statement. The guy has trouble moving. You can clearly see that. He’s 45 years old this year. His best years were from 1995 to 1998 or so, then the injuries started piling up and he had a few more good years in the mid 2000s when they booked him against good workers more often. I love me some Undertaker/Angle matches. I hate stupid statements, though. Don’t do them. Thanks. Anyway, much like their Rumble match the Undertaker’s nose was bleeding although not as bad this time.

Mysterio’s taking the next month off. He asked for, and was granted, a one month vacation to spend time with his family.

Three Stars of the Show
1. CM Punk
2. Rey Mysterio
3. Undertaker

6 out of 10
Last week: NR

It was a good show. Nothing special, though. Three of the matches took up about 40 minutes of airtime, which normally is a good thing. It’s just that the matches weren’t great this week. They were okay at best.

The World Title match for Fatal Fourway is set with Swagger defending against Show, Undertaker and Punk. I’d expect Swagger to retain while leading into a feud with Undertaker over the summer.

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Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend, especially those in the US that are celebrating Memorial Day on Monday as well. I’ll have a NBA Finals preview included in Tuesday’s Raw Deal.

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